


I believe in second chances

by Trebleclefstories



Category: Grey’s Anatomy
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Do-Over, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Fix It Fic, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, I Watched Too Much Grey's Anatomy, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Second Chances, Time Travel Fix-It, jolex, jolex endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27312364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trebleclefstories/pseuds/Trebleclefstories
Summary: Alex dies while on his way to stop Jo from reading the letters. He gets to relive his life from the moment he met her.
Relationships: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev
Comments: 28
Kudos: 78





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Did I start another fic? Yes I sure did :)

He regretted it almost immediately. As soon as he dropped the letters into the mail box at the post office he wanted to take them back. He wanted to reach in and rip them up and run back to Seattle. How could he do this to his friends—his family? How could he do this to the woman he loved? The woman he promised to spend the rest of his life with? The woman who loved and cared for him and had suffered enough to last multiple lifetimes?

He felt like the worst person in the world. As soon as Alex arrived back to the farm he jumped out of the car and vomited in the bushes. This was wrong. He couldn’t believe he did this. He tried so hard to be a good man and now he had completely destroyed everything he’d worked so hard for.

Alex walked back into the house with the sullen expression on his face. It was late. Three in the morning to be exact. No one knew he had just done. Not Izzie, not the kids, not the farmhand, not even the chicken he’d befriended and grown attached to in the past few weeks. This was a decision he’d come to all on his own. No one forced him to do it. He was the one who decided to cut all ties with his previous life.

He collapsed onto the couch and buried his head in his hands and cried. He had no idea how long he sat like that, but eventually he must’ve cried himself to sleep because he woke up hours later to someone poking him in the side. Alex opened his eyes to see his son standing in front of him, “Hey, buddy.”

“Hi Daddy!” Eli chirped happily. For all of his enthusiasm and excitement, Eli was a very mature and observant kid. He knew almost immediately that something was wrong with his father. “What’s goin’ on Daddy? You look sad and your eyes are red. We’re you cryin’?” 

From her place in the kitchen, Izzie overheard the question her son asked his father. She looked over to the living room and saw that Eli‘s observation was in fact, true Alex‘s eyes were red framed and sunken in. He looked lost and broken sighing, is he walked over to the couch and addressed her son, “Eli. How about you go play with your sister in the playroom while Daddy and I talk?”

Eli looked back-and-forth between his parents. He was unconvinced that he should leave his daddy alone, but decided to follow instructions, “Okay.” 

Izzie sat down on the couch next to Alex, “You look miserable. What happened? Have you called your wife yet? If I were her I would’ve hunted you down and beat your ass by now.”

“ I wrote her a letter and signed divorce papers last night,” Alex confessed. 

“You what?” Izzie stared at him in disbelief. “Why would you do that?”

“Because she didn’t sign up for this, and I owe it to these kids to at least try.”

“That just might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and I’ve heard you say a lot of stupid things.” Izzie sighed and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Look, you spent the last three weeks here with us and they’ve been wonderful, but I’ve seen how much you’re struggling. I know you want to be here for us, but you need to go home. The longer you stay here without talking to Jo or Meredith, the more miserable you’re going to be. And the more miserable you are, the more distracted you’ll become. Distract dads aren’t good dads. So if you wanna be a good dad, tear up those papers and go home, tell Jo, and we’ll figure something out.”

“I can’t,” Alex shook his head. 

“Of course you can,” Izzie insisted. “You can’t just leave without giving her a choice. Don’t do what I did to you. If she decides it’s too much for her fine, then you can come back and I’ll let you lie around like a sick puppy for a few weeks. But don’t end it before it’s over. Go, make a grand gesture, grovel, apologize, whatever you’ve got to do to make it right.”

“Iz, you don’t get it. I can’t,” Alex growled in annoyance. 

“Bullshit. Give me one good reason why not?”

“Because I already sent the damn letters in the mail!” Alex shouted, tears escaping his eyes once more. “I can’t tear them up or take them back because I already sent them. My wife is going to get a letter and divorce papers in the mail in a couple days and I can’t undo it. I don’t think I’ve ever regretted anything more in my life.”

“You already sent them?” Izzie’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe what she just heard. “Are you an idiot? Why the hell... No, you know what, you can fix this. You can hop on the next flight to Seattle or drive or take a train, but there’s no way I’m letting you sit around here and do nothing.”

“I can’t leave. What about the kids?” Alex tried reasoning with his ex-wife. 

“The kids will be fine, Alex. They were fine before you got here, and they will be fine if you have to leave for a little while,” Izzie assured. “Contrary to what society may think, our family was not incomplete before you entered the picture. We were not a broken home or anything like that. We were always whole. Your presence—and hopefully Jo’s if you haven’t completely screwed this up—is an added bonus. You aren’t abandoning us if you decide to leave, but you sure as hell will be abandoning the one person who stood beside you for years if you don’t hurry up and get your ass back to Seattle.”

Her words must’ve had an effect on him because suddenly, Alex was jumping up from his butt on the couch and collecting his things, “You’re right. I’m going to go. But I will be back. Make sure Eli and Lex know that I’m coming back.”

“I will,” Izzie smiled. “Now get up and figure out a way to get back to Jo.”


	2. Part 2

Izzie packed up his bags while Alex bought his plane ticket online. He found a flight that was leaving for Seattle in about five hours and purchased a ticket quickly. The airport was an hour and a half away, so he’d have to get going soon.

Alex closed his laptop and sighed. He was going home. He was going to see Jo. The thought made him smile as he climbed into the shower to get ready to leave. It has been such a long time since he had seen her. He considered whether he should call her or just show up and surprise her. As much as he wanted to keep it a secret and appear in the doorway of the loft, he couldn’t wait to hear her voice. He took out his phone and noticed that he had yet another missed call from his wife. She must’ve called him while he was showering. Alex clicked on the message she left and brought the phone up to his ear.

“ _Hi. It’s me... again. I don’t know why I even called. I knew you wouldn’t answer,_ ” there was a pause and sniffling in the background. “ _I miss you. I really miss you._ ”

More sniffling was heard, “ _Please come home. I know you’re not in Iowa. I called your mom because I was worried. She said that you weren’t there. You were never there. And she was fine, completely fine. So, I know you lied._ ”

Alex bowed his head in shame and wiped a few straggling tears as he heard Jo let out a quiet sob, “ _Are you cheating on me? If you are, it’s okay. We can work through it. We can figure it out. Because I'd rather argue trying to fix us, than lose you. I know I haven’t been the best wife lately, so we can go to counseling and work through out issues. Just come back home, please. I love you. Bye._ ”

The message ended and Alex immediately dialed her number. The phone rang a couple times before going to voicemail, “ _Hi. This is Dr. Jo Karev, I am not available right now, but please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible._ ”

“Jo! I know you’re probably in surgery or something or maybe you’re just mad at me for ignoring your calls for weeks. I don’t know was it is, but I’m coming home. I miss you, and I know I’ve been an ass and a lousy husband, but I swear I will explain everything as soon as I get home,” Alex paused and sighed. “I know you probably have a whole bunch of horrible scenarios going through your mind. It’s not what you think. It’s nothing that you did. You’re perfect. It’s complicated and messy, but I believe we can get through it together. I’ve got to go, but I’m coming. I’m on my way home. I love you.”

Alex hung up the phone and went outside on the porch to say goodbye to his kids. After a few minutes, Izzie walked out and smiled, “Okay, Mrs. Raven is here to watch the kids and all of your stuff is in the car already. Eli, Lex, give daddy a big hug. He’s got to go home to Seattle, but he’ll be back in a few weeks.”

They gave Alex a hug and waved happily as he and Izzie drove away from the farm. She looked over Alex who was staring blankly at the window, “Hey. You okay?”

“No,” Alex shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “She thinks I’m cheating on her. She left me a voicemail while I was in the shower and she thinks I’m cheating on her.”

“What?” Izzie’s eyes widened. “No, she has to know that you’d never do that, right? You’re not Evil Spawn anymore. You love that woman more than life itself.”

“Think about it, Iz. I’ve given her every reason to believe that I’m cheating.”

“Well, you didn’t cheat on her and you’re going home to tell her the truth. And I’m gonna make sure you get there in time to do it,” Izzie turned her attention back to the road. “You deserve a happy ending Alex. You’ve had more crap happen to you in your life than most people will ever experience. You deserve all the second chances you can get your hands on. So, when you get there, you’re going to fix everything and it’s going to be great.”

“Why are you so invested in my happiness?” Alex made a face of confusion.

“Because I’m partially responsible for this entire mess,” Izzie sighed. “If I would’ve just told you years ago or if I would’ve asked about using the embryos in the first place, none of this would be happening right now. I wouldn’t be upending your life... and believe it or not, I still care about you. We were bad for each other, but I’ve always loved you, Alex. And I love seeing you with our kids and see you in them. I want you to be as happy as I am, and you won’t be unless you have Jo with you.”

There was a beat of silence before Alex spoke, “I’m sorry I called you a bitch.”

“What?”

“I called you a bitch for a couple years after you left me. You’re not a bitch, though. You’re good, you always have been. You might be a bit dramatic and emotional, but you’re good,” Alex gave Izzie a small smile.

“To be fair, I was a bitch back then,” Izzie chuckled. “Eli and Lex changed me. I’m better because of them.”

They sat in silence for a moment, staring at the winding corn fields. They were still about an hour away from the airport. Alex looked out the window at the small town in the distance. It was idyllic, and Alex couldn’t wait to get back to his loft in the middle of the city.

“You know, The farm is nice and all, But I can’t wait to get back to Seattle,” Alex made a face as they passed by the small school house on the outskirts of town. “I feel like I’m in the freaking Wizard of Oz. We passed by like three scarecrows, a stray dog, and I’m half convinced that a tin man is gonna run out into the road.”

“Oh shush, you grew up in Iowa. It wasn’t very different from here,” Izzie retorted. “Now be quiet so I can pay attention to the road. I don’t want to be the reason you miss your plane and—“

Izzie was cut off by a large crash. She slammed on her breaks, seeing the accident that had just occurred in front of her, but it was too late. The tires screeched and suddenly they were tumbling. Then everything went black.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t want to be remembered.”

The last thing Alex remembered was the car flipping into a ditch. He and Izzie had been talking when the car in front of them was t-boned, causing a multi-car pile-up as people swerved in hopes of avoiding an even bigger crash. 

When he finally opened his eyes, Alex was confused. He was standing in an operating room wearing a pair of scrubs. This wasn’t right. Something about this place wasn’t right. It looked like he was in Grey Sloan, but he knew he wasn’t. Something was off. 

He figured it out almost immediately after a particular figure walked up to him. Alex stared in disbelief as his father waved, “Hey son.”

“I died didn’t I?” Alex asked. “I’m dead.”

“Basically,” Jimmy shared a sad smile. “You’re on an OR table right now. Your body sustained horrible injuries in the crash. You’ve been coding every five to eight minutes. They keep bringing you back, but the damage is too extensive. They won’t be successful.”

“No, no, no,” Alex pounded a fist on the empty OR table and shouted in anger. “No! This can’t be happening. I can’t die. I was going back home. I was going back home to Jo. I can’t die and leave her there. She’s lost too many people. She can’t lose me, too. I can’t die before I explain.”

“I’m sorry, son,” Jimmy bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”

Alex felt tears begin to run down his face. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He was going home. He was going to see the woman that he loved and end the suffering she’d been going through the past few weeks. He couldn’t abandon her now. The thought of it made him sick, almost as sick as he felt when he mailed the letters. 

The letters. She would get his letter and he’d been too dead to stop it. She would think he left her. That thought alone caused his body to be wracked with sobs. He couldn’t do anything but cry and mourn the life he’d lose with Jo.

“You know, I tried so hard to be everything you weren’t,” Alex looked up at Jimmy after collecting himself. “But I ended up doing the same exact thing to Jo, the woman I love more than anything, that you did to us. That you did your Naomi and your other kid in Florida. I left her and started a new family without consulting her. Without having the decency to be honest... I can’t die here. I can’t die being that guy.”

“You aren’t that guy,” Jimmy shook his head. “Trust me when I tell you, you and I couldn’t be more different. You’re a good man, Alex. Made a couple dumb choices, but she’ll remember you as a good man.”

“I don’t want to be remembered,” Alex growled in despair. “I want to be present.”

“Alex?” 

Alex was startled by a voice he hadn’t heard in over a decade. He turned around to see none other than George standing in front of him, “O’Malley?”

“I heard you were here. I came to see for myself,” George shrugged. “It’s good to see you again. It sucks that it’s like this, but it’s good to see you. The others are going to want to come now that they know you’re here.”

“What others?” Alex wrinkled his face in confusion.

“Karev?” 

Behind George emerged a few figures that he thought he’d never see again. They came out into the light of the OR, confirming that it was really them. 

“Alex!” Lexie walked up and enveloped him in a hug. “No... what are you doing here? I’m happy to see you, but you shouldn’t be here. You just married your wife again.”

“You guys can see what’s going on down, wherever the living are?” Alex asked as he released Lexie from the hug.

“We don’t see everything, only the big stuff,” Derek smiled warmly and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “It’s been a while, Karev. Thank you for taking care of my family.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet little Ellis,” Alex looked down sadly. 

“Me too,” Derek nodded. 

“Karev,” Mark stuck his hand out to shake Alex’s. “Welcome to the afterlife. It’s nice, a little lonely at times but, nice nonetheless.”

Alex shook Mark’s hand, “You know, we named the hospital after you and Lexie?”

“Derek told me,” Mark grinned. “I always knew you all loved me.”

Alex rolled his eyes. Seeing everyone he’d lost made him smile and forget for just a second that he was about to lose everything he’d worked so hard for. The presence of these people couldn’t make up for the ones he’d leave behind if his body really gave out like his father said it would. 

“I have to get out of here,” Alex looked at his former friends. “I have to live. I don’t care how, but I have to live.”

“That’s what we all said,” another figure walked into the space and smiled. “Hey, man.”

Of all the people Alex expected to see in the afterlife, Denny Duquette was not one of them. But sure enough, Izzie’s former fiancé was here to greet him. Alex raised his eyebrows in surprise, “No offense dude, but I wouldn’t have picked you to show up here.” 

“I’m not here for you,” Denny replied with a somber tone. 

Not even a minute passed before Alex realized why Denny was present. A person appeared on the OR table and seemed to be sleeping. Looking closely, Alex could tell it was Izzie. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. Trying to understand what was going on, much like he had. 

Izzie’s eyed widened and tears began to run down her face when she saw who stood before her, “Denny? George?” 

She was pulled into a hug by each man and proceeded to greet the rest of the people present, “I have brain damage, don’t I? That’s why I’m seeing all of you guys. Because the last time I saw dead people, I had a brain tumor.”

“You’re in surgery right now for severe epidural bleed,” Denny informed. “You’ve coded twice already, however, it looks like they might be able to bring you back.” 

“Well that’s good,” Izzie looked back and forth between the people in the room before finally settling her gaze upon Alex. “You’re going to make it too, right? This is just similar way everybody’s preserving our brain function so we can be neurologically intact. Because you can’t die. You have to make it.” 

The room quiet and Alex‘s eyes filled with tears again. Is his face dropped, “No. No! He can’t die!” Izzie looked over at George with pleading eyes. “He can’t die you know as well as I do that Alex has had way too much crap handed to him. He can’t die. Not when he’s so close to getting what he always wanted.”

“I’m sorry, Izzie,” Denny came behind her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“His body has sustained too many severe injuries,” George frowned. “He won’t make it.”

“There’s got to be something we can do,” Izzie insisted. “It’s not fair. He just met our kids. He just got married. He’s got so much more to do. It’s not fair.”

“Iz, I’m going to die. There’s nothing we can do,” Alex sighed. 

“There’s one thing,” Mark spoke up. 

“Mark—” Denny warned.

“No, they deserve to know,” Mark focused his attention on Alex and Izzie. “I didn’t mention it before because it’s messy and complicated and maybe even a little controversial… but you should know that it’s an option.” 

Mark took a deep breath, “On the day I died, Arizona tried to commit suicide. She was depressed. So, she took a bottle of pills in hopes that it would cause her organs to fail and she would die. I had already been here for about a month. I was happy. I was with Lexie and my mom was here too. I always knew I’d have to go back. But when Arizona’s body started to fail, I knew I had to do something. She didn’t show up here because her brain had started to shut down. She was dying alone in her bedroom while Callie was sitting at my bedside, hoping and praying that I’d wake up. And I would’ve. I would have woken up when they unplugged me. I would’ve been the miracle story that people talked about for years after the plane crash. 

“My time here had allowed me to get the closure I needed, so I could move on with my life on earth with my family. I was ready to go back. I wanted to see my daughter grow up, I wanted to be with my best friends, I wanted to maybe have another kid someday with Callie and Arizona, and watch Zola and Sofia become the best of friends. I had pictured this entire life I could live, and then I found out about Arizona,” Mark paused as he thought about what he would say next. “I begged and pleaded for something, anything that would allow Arizona to live. The only way she’d make it was through divine intervention. That’s when I was given the choice to trade places with her.”

“It doesn’t happen often because the circumstances are so specific, but it is possible to trade places with another person. In other words, two people who are close to dead, but not dead yet, may decide who lives or dies,” George informed. He looked over at Izzie with a soft expression on his face. “Ellis did it with Meredith, Mark did it with Arizona and I did it with you.”

“George,” Izzie sighed. “Why?”

“Because, I was in pain,” George shrugged. “I could’ve lived, but I’d never be a surgeon again. I would probably never walk again or look the same. The accident effectively disabled me to the point where everything hurt. And then I saw that you were dying, so I made the choice for the two of us. I had just enough life left in me to transfer that to you. You lived, I died.”

“Why don’t I remember it?” Izzie asked.

“Because you didn’t know. George never told you that he made the choice. Mark never told Arizona that he made that choice. So, you don’t remember,” Denny explained. “You went back to your normal life and things were okay.”

“Can I do that? Can I trade places with Alex?” Izzie asked.

“No! I can’t let you do that,” Alex shook his head. “I won’t. I can’t go on with my normal life, knowing that I’m the reason our kids don’t have a mom.”

“You see, this is why I told you not to tell them,” Denny glared at Mark. He turned back to face Izzie and Alex. “That’s not how it works. This is a different case. You both are aware of the ability to trade places, so the rules have changed.”

“When both parties are aware of the ability to trade places, there has to be mutual agreement of the trade. A legitimate reason must be given in order to honor the trade. There’s a catch, though. You don’t know when you’ll wake up. You don’t go back to your body that almost died. You wake up on a completely different day, from your past that is significant to the reason you traded in the first place. You’ll remember your time here, you’ll remember specific parts of your life from before that have to do with the reason you came back, but you get a second chance to do it all over,” Lexie explained. “And the person giving up their life will die on the day you wake up.”

“It can completely change the timeline. There’s no telling when he’d wake up,” Denny shook his head. “It’s not a good idea.”

Alex and Izzie stood there in silence for a minute, processing all of the information they’d just been given. Izzie took a deep breath, “Okay, so let me get this straight. So the rule is, to trade places with someone, you have to give up your own life so that they can continue theirs. There are two different ways that this can happen. The first one, is that the person giving up their life doesn’t inform you, meaning that you continue to live your life as it was before. The second way—the one that me and Alex would do—includes an encounter in the afterlife, where an agreement is made. The catch is, if you make the agreement in the afterlife, you have no idea where your life will pick up. The only thing you know for sure is that the person trading places with you will die the exact moment you wake up. Did I get it all?”

“Yeah, that about sums it up,” Mark smirked. “I’m impressed. Most people don’t get it off the bat.”

“Yeah, well most people haven’t been through the insane things this group has been through,” Izzie pointed out. She chewed on her Iip nervously. "How much time do we have left?"

"A few minutes, at most,"Jimmy informed.

"Alex's condition is deteriorating rapidly," Derek furrowed his brow. "You guys need to make a decision quickly."

“We’re not doing this,” Alex shook his head in disapproval. “We don’t know when I’d wake up. What about the kids?”

“Oh, it’s possible the kids won’t even exist in this timeline,” Lexie revealed. “If you wake up before they were conceived, then they definitely won’t exist. But more than likely, things will take an altered course in Izzie’s life so she has no dependents when she dies. The kids most likely won’t exist at all?”

“They won’t exist?” Alex asked. His face grew somber. “But I just met them. I just started loving them. I can’t leave them.”

“You wouldn’t be leaving them Alex,” Lexie placed a comforting hand on his back. “They’d be here. They’d be with their mom and all of us. They’ll have a great family and they’ll never be sad or lonely or feel abandoned.” 

“Alex, please let me do this for you,” Izzie begged. “I should’ve died years ago. But I got a second chance at life. You helped me fight, now please let me return the favor.” 

“Don’t you want to live?” Alex sneered angrily. “Don’t you want to live on earth and be a surgeon and be happy?”

“No, I don’t,” Izzie whispered. She looked up to the ceiling as tears started to fill her eyes. “I have everything here I could ever want. I have George, my best friend who I’ve missed so much in the past decade. I have Denny, the love of my life who I’ve never gotten over. I’d have my kids, the most important people in my life. And I’d get to see you live out your life. I want to stay here. And I want you to go and be with Jo. Save her the pain of losing you." Tears began to run down her face. "I know what that feels like. I was the girl who's soulmate died and I wouldn't get up off the bathroom floor. I left medicine. I was a shell of who I was before, a shell who made questionable choices--Denny and I had only been together for a few months. You and Jo have been together for years. You're the only family she's got. If you die, she might not make it."

"It's true," Mark signed. "When Lexie died, a part of me died with her. When Derek died, a part of Meredith died with him. You have the opportunity to make sure that doesn't happen."

"Take it," Jimmy stood in front of where Alex was leaning against the wall. "You said that you don't want to be like me, right? Take the second chance. Trade places and do better, be better whenever it is you wake up."

"Alex, you're coding again. You need to decide right now before the window closes," George exhaled nervously. 

Alex's eyes filled with tears as he nodded at the individuals in the room, "I accept the trade. For Jo." 

And in that moment, everything went black. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh I know you probably have so many questions and I will do my best to answer them all. Let me know when you think Alex is going to wake up!


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex wakes up

He woke up in an on-call room of all places. A part of him thought that the most recent occurrences had to have been a dream, but when he looked around and saw that he was wearing navy blue scrubs and recognized the all too familiar mattresses, he knew that it was most definitely real. Confused, Alex rubbed a hand over his face and groaned at the dull headache and extreme feelings of soreness all over his body that appeared almost immediately after he woke up. 

He figured it must have been a result of his injuries from the crash… the crash that had effectively killed Izzie. Izzie. Wherever he was--better yet, whenever he was, somewhere out there Izzie Stevens had just died. He made a mental note to find out about that, to see how much had changed and if his kids made it to this alternate timeline or not. 

As he got up, Alex noticed something quite significant. His wedding band was absent from his finger. Okay, that was a clue. So he wasn’t married, yet. He and Jo hadn’t gotten married yet. With about two and half years of marriage under their belt, that gave Alex some more clear parameters as to where in the timeline he’d been deposited. 

As he was stretching his stiff frame, he looked down and felt a buzzing in his pocket. He reached in to find his old white pager going off, calling him to respond to a trauma in the pit. This wasn’t right. Alex hadn’t used a real pager in years. They’d stopped using the white pagers sometime after he got fired by Lebackes. The last time he’d used one, Cristina was still here. 

Alex scrunched his face in confusion, trying to figure out when the hell he’d woken up. That would have to wait until later, though. The persistent buzzing of his pager was calling him to go attend to a peds trauma. Sighing, Alex straightened his clothes and ran out into the hallway. Halfway through his sprint towards the ER, Alex noticed something. The hospital logo was different. He hadn’t seen that logo in close to a decade. 

_ Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital _

Crap. He’d woken up a lot earlier than he thought. If he was right, it had to be 2012. That meant that Eli and Alexis didn’t exist and would never exist in this new timeline. And if it was 2012, that definitely meant that he and Jo were not together yet. They didn’t even really become friends until after Bailey’s Christmas themed wedding that same year. 

As he finally made it down to the pit, he had to stop the look of surprise on his face when he saw Callie and Shane Ross running out to the ambulance bay. Alex reached out for one of the trauma gowns when he bumped into someone. 

Not paying attention to anything but the onslaught of thoughts running through his mind he sighed, “You mind?” 

“Sorry.”

He felt paralyzed. The sound of her voice made his heart speed up a little. He knew now, exactly what day it was. How could he really forget? This may have been the most important day of his entire life. Because if it weren’t for this day, he wouldn’t have been the man he is today. 

Alex kept walking to the ambulance bay, noticing that she was trailing him. He thought back to the day and tried to keep what he said as close to what he’d originally told her, “Why are you following me?”

“I’m your intern for the day.”

“Hello intern. You have a name?”

“Jo Wilson.”

“Nice. I like chicks with boys' names,” Alex glanced at her and felt all the breath escape his lungs. Again. Sure, the feelings of love and coming home weren’t as intense the first time he saw, but even in his previous life, Alex knew Jo was different. She wasn’t just pretty.She wasn’t just beautiful. She was all those things and more—a fact he’d been convinced of from the moment she opened her eyes. 

“Karev.” Callie interjected, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

Smirking lightly at the comments he knew we’re coming, Alex looked up at Callie, “What? I do. It’s hot.”

Callie rolled her eyes, “Stop sleeping with your coworkers. It ruins them.”

“I slept with you,” Alex quipped.

“And now I longer sleep with men,” Callie raised her hands and widened her eyes in mock surprise. 

Alex chuckled lightly. He turned his attention back to Jo—who looked amused by the entire scene. It felt surreal being here, reliving the life he’d already lived once. The only bright side to it all was that he could redo it, he could fix it so that he and Jo become friends quicker, so that Jo never dated Chest Peckwell, so he could get her to confide in him about her past and Paul, so that they’d never break up, he’d never almost go to jail, so he’d get the chance to marry Jo all over again and stay true to his vows. 

He thought about this and all the ways he could change his life with Jo for the better. All the ways he could clean up the messes he’d created before they happened. He figured the first thing he could do was change the way he treated her from the beginning. That wouldn’t be very difficult, considering he practically worshipped the ground she walked on. 

Alex knew the first thing he’d change as soon as he’d heard Jo’s excitement over the young patient’s foot that they were about to salvage. As they loaded onto the elevator, Alex turned to Jo and graced her with what he knew to be one of her favorite crooked smiles, “You coming?”

Alex heard as Jo’s breath hitched in the back of her throat. He did his best to keep the smug grin off her face, but he was glad that even though she didn’t know him, he could still have this effect on her. Jo had told him once that if it weren’t for his douche-bag attitude, she probably would’ve fallen for him a lot sooner. Even before they were truly friends, Jo had been attracted to him. It wasn’t until later, though, when he started to win her over with his charms and genuine care that she allowed herself to fall for him. 

Jo’s eyebrows shot up and a bright grin spread along her face, “Yes! Thank you.”

So unlike the first time around, Jo scrubbed in on this surgery. He took this opportunity to test the waters and show her that he was different from the persona people had labeled him with. He taught and allowed Jo to assist, and he did his best to bring up things he knew about her to make conversation. About halfway through however, one of the nurses answered a page he received, “Dr. Karev, one of your post-op patients needs a drain removed.” 

Alex looked over at Jo with apologetic eyes, “Can you go take care of that for me and round on my pre and post ops? You can scrub back in when you’re done. We’re going to be here for a couple more hours.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jo nodded and stepped away from the patient, walking out of the OR.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Callie spoke, “What the hell is going on with you?”

“Huh?”

“You’re being all nice and charming and interested and weird. It’s starting to freak me out,” Callie replied. “I felt like I was third wheeling on the world’s weirdest first date.”

“Whatever,” Alex rolled his eyes and continued to work. Honestly, it was nice to work with Callie again. For him, it had been years since they’d even been in the same room. He almost forgot how observant she was. “I can’t be nice?”

“You, nice? Ha,” Callie chuckled. “Alex Karev, I have never known you to be nice to anyone but your patients. The last time you were nice to a woman, you married her.”

Alex looked down and did his best to keep his focus on the patient. What Callie was saying was true. Up until that point, he hadn’t been the nicest person on the planet. Still wasn’t, but if it weren’t for Jo, he’d probably still be Evil Spawn. He bit back a laugh as he thought about the whiplash he’d be giving his friends when they saw the change in his behavior. 

“You like her,” Callie gasped suddenly. “You like her, like her. And not just for sex like her. I thought I was going crazy when I first felt the vibes, but no. This is a ‘love at first sight, I feel like I’ve known you all my life’ connection.”

“Dude, shut up. Keep your voice down,” Alex shushed as he looked around the room at the nosy nurses and OR staff. He saw Shane’s face twitch in amusement. “Is it so crazy that I might be interested in a woman?”

“No, it’s not,” Shane replied. 

“Thank you,” Alex turned back to his work. “Suction.”

“You being interested in a woman is not crazy,” Callie continued the repair she was doing. “What’s crazy is that you are legitimately interested in this woman, who you don’t even know, who you haven’t slept with, and just so happens to be in the same class as all of those interns you screwed over the past few months.”

Damn it. He’d forgotten about that. Before he and Jo had even met, he’d already screwed all of her friends. That’s why she thought he was an ass at first, and that’s why it was going to take him a whole lot longer to win over her trust than he anticipated. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know I’m an ass who sleeps around and doesn’t call back. I know that’s what you’re used to, but i don’t know… this feels different. So, you guys are gonna keep your mouths shut and let me figure out what the hell is going on in my brain. Not a word of this to anyone, okay?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“Okay,” Callie conceded and Shane nodded in compliance and kept silent as he continued to assist. 

By the time Jo returned to the OR, the conversation had been tabled for another time. Instead, any time Alex and Jo would converse, Callie would send him a look from across the table, occasionally wiggling her eyebrows. 

When they finally finished, Alex waited behind for Jo to scrub out. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to kiss her and say he loved her, but at this point, that would only freak her out. So instead, Alex decided to go the easy route and compliment her surgical skills. 

“You did great in there, Wilson. You’ve got the potential to become a wonderful surgeon,” Alex complimented. 

Jo paused her scrubbing to look at him strangely, “Thanks…”

“Since you’re on my service all week, I was thinking you could scrub in with me on my surgeries,” Alex offered. 

“I’d like that,” Jo smiled shyly. She shut off the water and dried her hands. “You know, you’re not as bad as everyone says you are.”

“Thanks?” Alex laughed. 

He looked into Jo’s eyes only to find a glint of what he hoped would develop into love swimming beneath the surface. God, he could stare into those golden eyes forever. It may have been one of his favorite things about her. So often, they’d been able to just look at each other and know what was going through the other’s head. They could have a conversation without any words. 

This felt right. Eyes locked, no one daring to break the stare. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, despite the fact that in Jo’s mind, they had just met. No… this was right. This was home. This was exactly where he’d always belonged. Now that he had his second chance, he sure as hell wasn’t going to mess it up. 

Clearing his throat, Alex decided to do the thing he hadn’t been bold enough to do the first time around, “Do you want to go get a drink with me later? You know, to celebrate that a girl didn’t lose her leg?”

“Sure,” Jo answered, sounding breathless. 

“Okay,” Alex’s mouth curved up into a soft grin. “I’m going to go check on my patients, but I’ll see you in a bit. For now, keep an eye on our sailor here and page me if anything changes.”

“Will do.”

With one last longing look, Alex walked out of the scrub room onto the OR floor. He made his way to an empty on-call room and sat down on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling and the emptiness before deciding to speak, “Look, I don’t know if you can hear me, but wherever you are, Iz… thank you. I get a chance to make it alright and that’s because of you. And I’m forever in your debt.” 

He didn't hear a response, but that wasn’t entirely surprising to him. He just wished there was some way to know that Izzie knew how grateful he was. Just as he was about to stand up from the bed, Alex felt the faintest sensation of a hand on his shoulder. Even though he couldn’t see anyone, Alex knew that she had heard. 


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are a little different this time around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am so sorry this took so long to update, but I have started planning the following chapters which will hopefully make it easier to update more frequently. 
> 
> (i definitely wrote this instead of studying for finals whoops)

**—Part 5—**

  
  


The next few weeks played out very differently than they had in his previous life. Since waking up in this timeline, the Alex everyone knew went from a manwhore who couldn’t go more than two days without sleeping around to a caring, attentive guy that had everyone scratching their heads in confusion. There had been multiple moments where Meredith, Jackson, Callie, Cristina and even Bailey had given him strange looks due to changes in behavior. They were especially freaked out when they noticed his newfound friendship with a certain intern. 

“So… are you guys a thing now or what?” Callie asked as they walked into the attendings lounge, mugs of coffee in each of their hands. “I’m just trying to figure it out because I’m not really sure what to say to people when they ask.”

“If people ask, just tell them to stay the hell out of my business,” Alex took another sip of his coffee. “We’re just friends.”

“Oh come,” Callie gave him an unimpressed look. “I know you like her. Why don’t you just make a move already? It’s been a month since you met.”

“Because I want to do this right,” Alex sighed and thought back to the way things unfolded the first time. “There are some things I’m trying to avoid, so I need to show her who I am first. She needs to trust me and like me before I do anything about it.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually trying to impress this girl,” Callie took a long swig of her coffee. “Sure, she’s hot and funny, but what’s so special about her? Because you look at her like she hung the moon and stars.”

“She’s just…” Alex shook his head and vaguely remembered the words he’d said to Cristina over seven years ago. “There have been a lot of girls since Izzie. A lot of nobodies. But this girl isn’t a nobody.”

“Who are you and what have you done to Evil Spawn?” Cristina’s voice startled Callie and Alex as she walked into the attendings lounge. “Are you in love? Is Alex in love?”

“Alex is in love?” Meredith raised her eyebrows as she followed Cristina into the lounge. “Is it that intern he’s been hanging out with? Jo Wilson? If so, Avery owes me twenty bucks.” 

“Why does Avery owe you twenty bucks?” Bailey asked as she joined the rest of them. 

“Alex is in love with his intern,” Callie supplied, ducking as Alex threw a paper ball in her direction. “Hey! What, it’s true. You can’t even deny it.”

“No offense Karev, but don’t you think she might be a little out of your league?” Bailey wondered out loud, an amused expression on her face. 

“She’s definitely out of my league,” Alex replied. Realizing that he wasn’t going to get rid of their prying questions any time soon, Alex decided to give them a straight answer. “Look, she’s different okay? We have a lot of stuff in common and she gets me more than anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t think I’ve ever opened up to someone as much as I have with her. She’s also a bit squirrelly—not that it’s her fault—and she’ll run if I get too serious too fast, so I’m being patient and taking it slow so I don’t freak her out.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Meredith blurted out. “Because I swear you do not sound like Alex Karev right now.” 

“You guys suck,” Alex stuck his tongue out at the women and moved to get up. “I’m going to get ready for rounds.”

He left the lounge and started to make his way down to the intern locker room. As he neared the door, Alex heard some comotion inside.

“Oh my God, you like him!”

“You are so into him. Don’t even try to deny it.”

“Look! She’s blushing!”

“Guys, stop it!” Jo’s hushed the three women who had been interrogating her. “Okay, yes fine. I like him, but I’m not going to go around acting like some crazy, desperate girl like Leah—no offense.”

“None taken,” Leah shook her head. “Seriously though, you like Karev? I mean, I get the attraction. Both Heather and I slept with him and it was fantastic, but you actually like him? As a person?”

“I know you guys probably think I’m crazy, but yeah I do. I know everyone sees him as this jerk who only cares about getting into someone else’s pants, but he’s different from what everyone thinks. When we hang out and drink beer at Joe’s or at his house, he’s different. He’s funny and kind and charming. You know he bought a couch so that I could crash if I’ve had too much to drink and can’t drive home? Douches don’t do that,” Jo released a breath and shrugged. “Also, you should see him with his patients. Kids can see right through people and they love him.”

“Jo Wilson, you are smitten,” Stephanie teased as a wide grin appeared on her face. 

“Why don’t you ask him out?” Heather suggested. “You’re both comfortable being alone together. But instead of it just being two friends hanging out, make it a date.”

“I don’t know,” Jo answered hesitantly. “I’m not even sure if he feels the same way. Besides, he’s my boss.”

“Oh screw it,” Leah rolled her eyes. “He’s so into you.”

“He’s definitely into you. Trust me, I know,” Shane looked over to the girls, shutting his locker and leaning against it.

“How do you know?” Jo raised an eyebrow. 

“I just do,” Shane crossed his arms. “I was sworn to secrecy, but all I’m going to say is that the attendings talk during surgery.”

“He talks about you!” Heather gasped. “As if the way he looks at you isn’t enough proof.”

“Oh yeah, any time you walk into a room his eyes follow you around with this awestruck glint in them,” Stephanie giggled. “Go for it, Jo.”

“I want to, but… I didn’t come here to get into a relationship or be tied down to someone. I have baggage that no one deserves to be burdened with, much less him,” Jo looked down sadly. “I’ve been burned in the past. I don’t want to open that possibility up again.”

Shane rolled his eyes, “That’s not an excuse to keep yourself from being happy.”

Sensing they were done talking—and feeling a hell of a lot of pride hearing that Jo was already interested in him so soon—Alex waited a couple seconds before popping his head into the locker room and scanning it for Jo, “Wilson! We’ve got surgery in 20. Let’s go!”

Jo’s eyes widened as she scrambled to grab her things. She did her best to ignore the stares and winks her friends were giving her as she followed Alex out the door. 

“Hey, how was your day off yesterday?” Alex asked as they stepped into the elevator. 

“It was nice. A little boring, but I slept past ten in the morning,” Jo grinned.

“Ah, you always did love to sleep in,” Alex muttered to himself.

“Huh?” 

“Nothing, just—I figured you’re one of those people who would rather sleep in,” Alex tried to save his little slip up. “I am, too.”

“You see that’s why we get along so well. I’d never be able to work with a morning person before nine in the morning because I think I’d punch them in the face,” Jo tilted her head in thought.

“You and me both,” Alex chuckled. “Pretty sure I yelled at Kepner one too many times during residency.”

“But she’s so nice,” Jo wrinkled her face in confusion.

“Exactly.”

Jo laughed in response, making Alex’s heart pick up a bit. He loved hearing her laugh. It was probably one of his favorite things about her. He remembered their wedding day and the way she laughed so brightly and contagiously when they realized that they had had sex in a shed with a corpse lying there. If there was one thing that Alex was determined to do this time around, was to replace all the times he’d made her cry to laughter. 

“So, what’s the surgery today?” Jo asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, um we’re performing a splenectomy on eight year old, Jalen Brown. He’s got hemolytic anemia and needs his spleen removed,” Alex informed as they walked into the scrub room. “I’m gonna go talk to him before we start.” 

Alex walked into the OR and up to the operating table, smiling as he looked down at the kid laying on it, “Hey buddy. We’re going to do the surgery now. This doctor over here is going to give you some medicine that is going to help you sleep so that you won’t feel a thing. When you wake up, you’re gonna be a little sore, but that’s normal. You’ve got this, okay?”

“Okay, Dr. Alex,” Jalen nodded timidly. “Can you hold my hand while I go to sleep?”

“Sure, thing kiddo,” Alex grabbed one of Jalen’s hands and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Now, count backwards from ten for me.”

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…”

Nodding at the anesthesiologist, Alex walked back towards the scrub room where Jo was staring at him curiously. Alex raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“Nothing,” Jo shook her head. “It’s just… you’re really great with kids.”

“Well, I’d hope so. My job kind of depends on it,” Alex flashed her a crooked grin. 

“Obviously,” Jo rolled her eyes and began to scrub. “What I mean is that you make them feel comfortable around you. That’s something I’ve noticed since we became friends. You make people feel safe.” 

Alex stared at Jo for a moment, pausing in his scrubbing. He was grateful that he’d already pulled his mask over his face so that she couldn’t see the look he was giving her. Because, that just might’ve been the highest compliment he could’ve received from Jo. He knew how significant it was that Jo already felt safe around him. There were very few people in this world that made her feel safe and secure, and at this point in her life, he was pretty sure that he was the only one on that list. The people on that list wouldn’t expand for a few more years. 

Alex’s face softened and all he could do was smile underneath his mask at the woman standing beside him, “Thanks.” 

They’d been in surgery for a little while already when one of the nurses answered a page, “Dr. Karev, you’re being paged to L&D for a pediatric patient who’s having a high risk baby. It’s urgent.”

“Crap,” Alex mumbled to himself. Today was the day that he and Jo would meet the girl who abandoned her baby in the hospital. Sighing, Alex looked over at Jo. “Can you check that out for me? I’ll be in there as soon as I can.”

“Yes. Of course,” Jo nodded and promptly stepped out away from the operating table and proceeded to scrub out. 

By the time Alex finished up with his surgery, Jo had paged him multiple times to hurry. He met Jo in the hallway as she ran with an incubator towards the NICU, “Newborn with a CDH. I intubated him but the SATs are still low.”

“It could be pulmonary hypertension,” Alex looked up at Jo as they continued to rush towards the NICU. “Have you ever hooked a baby up to ECMO before?”

“I never intubated a baby before five minutes ago,” Jo replied, eyes wide.

“Okay, we hook up catheters into his neck, pump his blood into the ECMO machine, which puts in oxygen and takes out carbon dioxide. Then it cycles it all back in,” Alex explained as they finally entered a procedure room. 

They set up everything quickly and Alex coached Jo through how to hook up with catheters and get the machine going, “You’re doing great. You isolated that jugular and carotid, avoided the vagus nerve, and now you need to put in a venous drainage cannula.”

Suddenly the machines started beeping. Jo looked up at them before frantically turning back to Alex, “I didn’t even—“

“Switch with me,” Alex traded places with Jo swiftly. “He’s coding. You need to do CPR while I hook him up to ECMO.”

“At the same time? How will that work?”

“You need to start compressions now,” Alex instructed and proceeded to hook the baby up to the machines. “Stop… Go… Stop… Go… Stop… Keep going…”

Some time passed when Jo finally spoke again, “How long have we been going?”

“Twenty minutes.”

Seconds later, Arizona walked into the procedure room, “Hey. I heard you had a crash ECMO. You need my help? You want me to take over?”

Alex smiled to himself slightly. He kept forgetting that he was only supposed to be a fellow that was still learning certain surgical procedures, “No. I’m just connecting the circuit… okay. Initiate bypass.” Alex held his breath for a moment and then released it. “We did it. Son of a bitch.”

“It seems like only yesterday I was showing you how to do your first pulmonary hypoplasia,” Arizona smiled. “I hope you’re taking notes, Wilson. He’s one of the good ones.” 

Jo looked back and forth between Arizona and Alex before letting out a breath, “So, what’s next?”

“Well, now that he’s hooked up to ECMO, the baby has to be monitored 24/7. We have a long day and a long night,” Alex looked up from what he was doing to make eye contact with Jo. “You might want to go grab a power nap, princess.” 

“Ugh, really Alex? Again with the whole princess thing?” Jo rolled her eyes. “I thought we agreed to forget about that.”

“Hey, I wasn’t the one who said it. It was little Briana Ewell who said you looked exactly like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I just so happened to agree,” Alex shook his head. “I don’t know why you’re so hung up on it. Most people would take that as a compliment.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Jo explained with wide eyes. “I don’t need people thinking I got to where I am today because I’m pretty and it was handed to me or that I slept my way to the top. I worked hard to get here.” 

“No one ever said you didn’t,” Alex paused. “But for the record, if anyone ever does, tell them to come find me and I’ll set the record straight.” 

“Oh, no way,” Jo laughed. “We do not need you doing something stupid like going and ‘protecting my honor’ or whatever.” 

“Just go take a nap.” 

  
  


***

“You sure you’re not asleep with your eyes open? You’ve been staring at that kid for an hour.” 

“She didn’t even want to see him. She cared more about her best friend’s stupid pizza party than seeing her child,” Jo’s face wrinkled in disbelief. In the before, Alex had made some insensitive comments about how she couldn’t possibly relate to the young girl’s story. This time instead of interrupting, he allowed her to continue. “I just… I don’t understand how you could care about a party more than the baby you’ve grown to know and love for the past nine months. How could you not want to see that baby and hold it and love it? A baby who has no fault in the decisions you made that led you here. Why bring that baby into the world in the first place if you don’t even care enough to sit by it’s bedside when it needs you the most.” 

Alex stood there in silence, unknowing what to say. This definitely had not happened last time. In the before, Jo hardly ever expressed her feelings about being abandoned by her mother until after she’d met her. These feelings though, made it clear to him that Jo had been contemplating whether she was worthy of existing long before finding out about how she was conceived. 

Sensing Alex’s surprise at her small outburst, Jo reached a hand out to touch the baby’s hand, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine what could be more important than your kid. If my baby were in the NICU, I would never leave it’s side. Not for a single moment.” 

“It sounds like there’s a story there,” Alex raised his eyebrows slightly. “If you ever feel like sharing it, you can trust me.” 

Jo took a deep breath, “I had a crappy childhood.”

“Me too,” Alex confided. He didn’t want to push her, but he knew that she might feel more compelled to open up if he shared first. “My dad was an abusive junkie and my mom was schizophrenic. So, when I was a kid, I became the parent to my younger siblings. I got them ready for school and made them food and helped with homework. I ran interference for my parents, I kept everyone safe, I took the beatings my mom and siblings were supposed to get. I even stole cars and food to make sure my siblings were taken care of. Someone must’ve reported it, because one day these people showed up and took us away for a few years. We got separated and I ended up with a whole bunch of foster parents who didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. Then at some point, I ended up in juvie. It’s a miracle I am the man I am today. Sure, I’ve got my flaws, but I never would’ve thought I’d become this.” 

“My mother left me at a fire station when I was two weeks old,” Jo started quietly and watched as the small child wrapped his tiny hand around her finger. “I got bumped around foster homes until I was sixteen when I took matters into my own hands and started living out of a car. I parked it behind the gym of my high school so I could sneak in and use the showers before class. My home ec teacher--Ms. Schmidt--she’d let me do my laundry there for free.” Jo laughed slightly. “Everyone asks me how I got into Princeton and Harvard while living in a car. They’d say mean things and start rumors that I’d slept with the admissions staff to gain entrance into their programs. But I got into good schools because I worked my ass off. And when I walked across that stage at graduation, I didn’t have a cheering section filled with family. I had one person, Ms. Schmidt.” 

Jo felt a tear run down her cheek and swiped at it quickly, “This little guy here just came into the world a few hours ago and he’s sick. All he needs is his mother. But she’s too busy talking to her best friend about pizza and cupcakes to even hold his hand. He didn’t do anything to deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to feel alone.”

“He isn’t alone,” Alex shook his head and reached over to squeeze Jo’s free hand. “He has you and me and the nurses. Who knows? Maybe he’ll be okay. But for now, we just got to make sure he’s strong and well-taken care of, okay?”

“Okay.”

***

It was alright for the most part. The little guy pulled through the night and was doing okay. Not that Alex doubted he would pull through. After all, the kid lived in his past life, so he figured that he’d make it this time around too. What wasn’t alright was that today was the day that this girl would abandon her baby with the help of her mother.

It was happening right now actually. As Alex was walking down the corridor, he could hear Jo’s voice rise in volume, “Woah, woah, hey! Hang on. You can’t just leave. You have a baby. She has a baby upstairs. He’s one day old.”  
  


“Yeah,” the girl replied. “And he’s all messed up.”

“So you’re just gonna... You can’t--you can’t abandon him! No! You can’t! No!” Jo placed herself in between the elevator doors, blocking their exit. “No!”

“Let me on,” the girl’s mother frowned. 

“No!”

“You don’t wanna mess with me,” the woman growled.

“ _You_ don’t wanna mess with _me_ ,” Jo countered. The woman grabbed Jo by her scrubs, causing Jo to react and push her against the elevator. “No, stop. You can’t abandon that baby! You can’t do that!”

“Get off me!”

“No!” Jo shouted. 

“Let her go,” the teen girl trying to get in between Jo and her mother. 

“No!”

“Hey! Let ‘em go,” Alex came and pulled Jo off of the woman. “Let them go.”

Jo turned and glared at Alex angrily as the elevator doors closed, allowing the two women to escape. Seething with anger, Jo yanked herself out of Alex’s grasp and ran down the hall. 

Knowing that she would need a few minutes to calm down, Alex waited before going to look for her where he knew she’d be. He found her lying on a gurney in the tunnels he’d introduced her to a few weeks ago. It became their spot where they’d go to meet up and talk, hang out, or have lunch together.” 

“Look, I know this hit home for you and it sucks, but you can’t go around assaulting patients.”

Jo let out a sharp breath, “She was abandoning her baby.”

“I know,” Alex jumped up onto the gurney and motioned for her to scoot over so he could lie down next to her. He laid on his back and grabbed one of her hands, making comfortable circles on the back of her hand. 

“I’m just… I’m so _angry_ ,” Jo sobbed, the tears finally winning. “How can she not love him? I loved my baby so much even though I only knew about him for a couple weeks.” 

“Wait what?” Alex was confused. In all the time he’d been with Jo (both past and current timeline Jo), he’d never heard anything about a baby. “You had a baby?”

“No, well yes, but no,” Jo shook her head, tears still running down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m not making any sense, right?” Jo paused, unsure if she should share this part of her story. She was nervous. What she was about to tell Alex, she’d never mentioned to a single soul before. “Years ago, I was pregnant. But the father wasn’t a good guy. I wanted to keep the baby, but it became more and more clear that if I did, it would never be safe. My life was too complicated and dangerous to raise a child. So, I went to a clinic all by myself and had an abortion. And I cried the whole time, because I had started picturing all of these wonderful things about what my baby would look like and be like. I fell in love with my baby. I wanted my baby. I loved my baby. But my greatest act of love was ensuring that it would never have to go through what I went through. I was a mom to that baby for less than five weeks and I loved it more than this girl ever loved her baby... I've never told anyone that before.”

Alex laid there in silence for a moment. He was surprised that Jo mentioned this experience she had, especially when she still hadn't brought up Paul yet and it was so early on in their friendship. The Jo from the before had always been very reserved when it came to sharing about her experiences with Paul. She continually attempted to pretend like it never happened rather than face it fully. She’d been through hell and it was understandable. So, hearing that Jo had had to have an abortion back while in her abusive marriage made Alex want to cry. 

He reached to wrap his arm around Jo’s shoulder and pulled her close, placing a light kiss on her forehead, “Jo. You have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. Despite everything you went through, you became kind and strong and loving. I know this hurts and I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. But I promise, this baby will not be like you. We will get him into the database and we’ll get a social worker down here and we will make sure this kid gets a good home.” 

“You promise?”

“Yeah I promise."

  
  


***

“Hey Alex!” Jo called out as she made her way to the parking lot. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Alex asked. 

“Nothing’s up… I just, I wanted to say thank you earlier today. That case was extremely difficult for me, but you helped me be okay. So, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Alex cracked a small smile. “I told you it would work out. Those parents fell in love with him. He’s going to be okay and live a very happy, full life.”

“Yeah,” Jo sighed slightly. “I guess you were right. I’m glad that he’s got people.”

“So do you,” Alex took one of Jo’s hands in his own. “You’ve got to stop acting like you don’t have people. You’ve got people. You’ve got me. Don’t forget that.”

And although she’d been told those words in the past, for the first time in her life, she believed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken nights and wedding invites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you have been asking me when this takes place. The story is taking place during s9, which means that Derek is alive and the plane crash victims are currently in the process of filing a lawsuit against the plane charter/hospital. It still is SGH because the hospital sale has not happened yet. Things will all make sense and I will reference them further on in the story

“Jo! Dude, wake up!”

“Huh?” Jo shot upright and looked around at her surroundings, trying to determine what was going on. 

“We’re gonna be late to the hospital. Put some pants on and get up from the couch,” Alex yelled from his place in the kitchen. 

“I don’t want to,” Jo groaned. “Five more minutes.”   
  


“You said that fifteen minutes ago when I tried to wake you up the first time,” Alex smirked and took a sip of his coffee. “I’m serious. I have a surgery and you got a lecture with Webber and all the other interns in half an hour.” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Jo stood up sluggishly from the couch, searching for her pants on the floor. “I’d much rather be in surgery.”

“Well, you can’t today. At least for the first few hours,” Alex walked into the living room and laughed slightly at Jo’s disheveled appearance. He bent down and picked up her jeans that had landed somewhere around the fireplace. “You looking for these?”

“Yes!” Jo reached out and began to slip her legs in. “How the hell did they end up over there?”

“You were pretty wasted last night,” Alex handed Jo the other mug of coffee in his hand. “I had to carry you inside because you couldn’t get out of the car without falling. I placed you on the couch and by the time I came back with some water and Advil, your pants were on the floor and you were knocked out.” 

“You know, it’s embarrassing how many times you’ve seen my ass,” Jo cringed. “Sure, we’re friends, but you’re also my boss and you live with another one of my bosses. Where is Yang by the way?”

“She left twenty minutes ago.”

“Great so she saw my ass too.” 

“She didn’t see your ass,” Alex rolled his eyes. “I covered you with a blanket before I went to bed last night. You were completely covered.” 

“How thoughtful of you,” Jo deadpanned. 

“Hey, I could have just left you lying there on the couch in a t-shirt and your underwear all night. But instead of being a jerk, I covered you up and made sure you were nice and warm. It is December after all,” Alex flashed her a smug grin. “It's a nice ass by the way.”

“What a gentleman,” Jo replied sarcastically and laughed at the way Alex rolled his eyes again. 

“Come on, let’s go. There’s a thermos with coffee⎯one third cup of milk and three teaspoons of sugar⎯and a grilled cheese sandwich on the counter,” Alex said as he threw on a jacket and slipped on his boots. He heard shuffling and a set of eyes on him. Alex turned to see Jo staring at him with a curious expression on her face. “What?”

“How did you know how I like my coffee?” Jo asked, brows furrowing. “I’ve never told you that.”

Alex chuckled awkwardly, “I just… I figured that’s how you might like it. I take my coffee the same way.” 

“Uh huh,” Jo continued to stare at him curiously. “You know, I find it kind of unfair that you just seem to know all of my quirks beforehand and I have to learn them as we go.” 

Not really knowing what to say to that, Alex shrugged, “Sorry?”

“Okay, sure,” Jo chuckled. “You are definitely way too happy about knowing so much about me.”

“Whatever, let’s go.” 

————

“You still haven’t made a move?” 

Alex was getting tired of the constant meddling of his friends. Today he was getting grilled by Cristina, Jackson, and surprisingly Bailey. “No I haven’t. I already told you guys that I’m waiting for the right time.” 

“Dude, well you better make a move before I do. She’s hot and I need to get over April,” Jackson frowned. 

“Shut up,” Alex shot him an unimpressed glare. “Over my dead body. Just figure it out with Kepner. Choose to be together. Don’t be an idiot that hurts the people you love. Same thing goes for you and Hunt, Yang.”

“Well, I don’t see you choosing to be together with Wilson,” Bailey said from her spot on the couch as she flipped through a medical journal. 

“You see, even Bailey thinks you’re being ridiculous,” Cristina snickered. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you waiting? She obviously likes you. Otherwise, she wouldn’t crash on our couch on average three nights out of the week. She literally passed out on our couch like four days ago. I walked out of the house and there she was on the couch, sound asleep while this idiot was making coffee in the kitchen and staring at her longingly.” 

“Hold on, let me get this straight,” Jackson placed a hand under his chin. “This girl spends the night at your house on a regular basis and she sleeps on the  _ couch _ downstairs? Not in your bed? Are you losing your touch? Is that what’s happening?”

“I’m not losing my touch,” Alex grumbled. He looked at his friends who stared at him with raised eyebrows. “Look, I know she likes me. I overheard her talking with the other interns a few weeks ago. But she’s scared because she’s been through some things that gave her some major trust issues. That’s why I’m taking it slow and waiting because I am not gonna screw this up. Not this time.” 

“Karev, you listen to me now,” Bailey pointed a finger at him. “Here is what you are going to do. My wedding is in three days. You are going to bring Wilson as your plus one to my wedding. You are going to be kind and charming and keep your hands to yourself and your eyes from wandering. You are gonna give her your full attention and then give her a ride home. And at the end of the night, you are going to tell her how you feel and let her think about what that means. Then, you just go from there. Understood?”

Alex huffed a slight laugh, “Yes Dr. Bailey.” 

  
  


————

“Hey! I heard you were on my service again today,” Alex smiled as Jo approached him. It had been a couple days since he’d truly seen her. Sure, they’d passed by each other in the halls, but the past few days had been especially busy for the both of them and he hadn’t seen her since she woke up on his couch almost a week ago. 

“I love peds. All the babies and kids and joy and magic,” Jo sighed dreamily. “Sure, it sucks that they’re sick, but kids really bring out the best in people.” Jo looked at Alex teasingly. “You especially. You’re a huge jerk to everyone else, but those kids bring this happy, soft side of you. It’s a good look. You should show people more often.” 

“And ruin my reputation? Nah,” Alex scoffed. “Can’t freak my friends out by letting them think that I’m not cold and dead inside.” 

“Well, I feel honored that I get to see this side of you,” Jo smiled. 

Her smile always seemed to give him butterflies. Something about that beautiful smile that awakened something deep within him. It was mesmerizing. So much so, that he often found himself getting lost in it. 

“Hello? Earth to Alex. You okay?” Jo waved her hand in front of Alex’s face. 

“Yeah,” Alex shook himself out of his thoughts. “Yeah I’m fine. Let’s go check on my pre-ops.” 

They did their rounds on patients before finally making it to the room of the child who’d be getting their surgery performed first thing today, “Hey Jenna! How’s it going?”

“Hi Dr. Kawev!” the small five year old girl gave him a toothless grin. “Look! I lost my toof last night!”

“Dude, that is so cool!” Alex high-fived Jenna and smiled at the parents. “Did you get money from the tooth fairy?”

“Uh huh,” Jenna nodded emphatically. “I got two dowwas.”

“Two dollars? Wow, the tooth fairy must really like you,” Alex looked back at Jo and pointed. “You see that woman over there? That’s Dr. Wilson and she’s gonna be helping me with your surgery today.”

“Girls can be doctows too?” Jenna’s eyebrows shot up in excitement.

“They sure can,” Alex nodded. “Girls can do anything boys can do. And a lot of times they do it better than the boys.” 

“Woah! That’s so cool,” Jenna’s eyes lit up. “I wanna be a doctow too!” 

Jo’s face broke out into a smile and she felt her heart flutter at the little girl’s words, “Really? Well, it’s going to take a long time and be hard sometimes, but you can do it.”

“Why did you wanna become a doctow, Dr. Kawev?”

“You know, nobody has asked me that before,” Alex paused and looked at the girl for a moment before responding. “Well, I have a younger sister and when she was a kid, one day she got really sick. So, I took her to the hospital to get some help because my mom and my dad couldn’t do it. And while we were sitting there, I saw all the hard work the doctors were doing to try to help my sister and it made me happy that somebody cared so much about a stranger’s life to save them. That day was the day I decided that I wanted to help people.”

“I wanna help people too,” Jenna decided. “But fiwst, I need youwe help.”

“You sure, do and we’re gonna take you up into surgery right now. Say goodbye to mommy and daddy,” Alex instructed and turned over to Jo. “Prep her for surgery and I’ll meet you in the OR in twenty.” 

They’d been in surgery for about an hour when Alex finally got tired of the looks Jo kept sending his way, “What? You look like you wanna ask a question, but you’re too scared to actually do it. Spit it out.” 

“I didn’t know that story about your sister that you told Jenna,” Jo stared up at him. “But, I’m guessing that’s not the full story and you only gave her the age appropriate answer.” 

Alex took a second to collect his thoughts before saying what had really been on his mind when Jenna asked him why he wanted to be a doctor, “My whole childhood, I was surrounded by people who didn’t have a problem hurting others. My dad was abusive and neglectful, my mom was sick and most of the time didn’t even realize that she was hurting us, even my school nurse took advantage of me when I was fifteen, nowadays, she’d be arrested for statutory rape. Then there were all the foster homes and parents that treated me like crap, like I was trash, and for a long time I believed them. All of these people were people that were supposed to take care of me and keep me safe, but instead, all they did was hurt me. And I usually got the worst of it, too. I was the oldest and I needed to keep my little brother and sister safe, so I took the beatings meant for them, and I ate less food so they wouldn’t starve, and I even stole a car to get my baby sister to the hospital in time for someone to help her. She couldn’t have been more than eight months old. 

“When I got there, it was the first time I ever actually had anyone take care of me and my siblings. The doctors went above and beyond to help my sister and gave me some food and let me stay with her in her hospital room that night. They gave a crap, ya know? And it was so damn refreshing because for at least one night, I was able to see that people weren’t all bad. Then we went home and I was back in that crappy, dirty house, with my abusive dad that was too strung out on drugs to even remember my name. That’s when I decided that I would never be like him. I would never be like the people that hurt me. I wanted to help people. I wanted to save them. I wanted to get out of that hell hole of a town and make something of myself. I wanted to prove everyone wrong when they said I would never amount to anything in life. And I’ve done that. I have proved them all wrong and I’m a freaking kickass peds surgeon and I don’t hurt people back . Not anymore. Not like I used to.” 

The rest of the surgery was conducted in silence. Because what could you really say after something like that? Every time Alex opened his mouth, Jo found herself falling for him more and more, which absolutely terrified her. She was sure that if she would’ve opened her mouth after his speech, the only words that would’ve come out would've been ‘I’m in love with you.’

That was ridiculous, though. Jo couldn’t be in love with him. He was too good, too kind, too perfect. And she was all shades of messed up and complicated that he couldn’t possibly want. As much as she wanted him, she knew that she couldn’t have him. Not with Paul out there. 

But sometimes the heart wins out in the end because Jo couldn’t bring herself to put distance between her and Alex. Instead, she kept getting impossibly closer to him. It was almost as if there was this thing pulling her, beckoning her to be with him and it scared the living daylights out of her because she kept giving into that tug ever single time. 

By the time the day was over, Jo and Alex had successfully performed four surgeries and were on their way to the bar for some drinks. As they were walking, Alex stopped, “Do you want to go to Bailey’s wedding?”

“Huh?” Jo wondered aloud. 

“Bailey’s wedding is tomorrow and I have a plus one,” Alex explained. “All my friends are going with their partners and I don’t really want to be alone so what do you say, wanna go with me?”

She knew what her answer should’ve been. It should’ve been no. Because this was not how you put distance between yourself and the person you were dangerously close to just word vomiting all your feelings to. That’s why she kind of surprised herself as the following words came out of her mouth, “Yes.” 


End file.
